Where Animals Speak

  

Dudu - A doggy Nightmare

We are all avid watchers of The Dog Whisperer, we gather together to watch week after week as Cesar works his magic, teaching owners about body language among other things. Our dogs rarely pass comment but there are times when Dudu will make the occasional ‘acid’ comment or two. ‘Pah’ he shouted in disgust when a particularly rambunctious Chihuahua came on the screen, ‘I’d sort him out in seconds and if he didn’t learn quickly, I’d sit on him.’ Quickly Dudu showed me an image in my mind of 4 legs and a head sticking out in various horizontal directions from beneath Dudu’s rather immense and hairy bottom. ‘Yep Dudu, I think that would probably do it.’ I commented with a smile in my voice and thought no more of his comment.

Later in the day, as I was planting spring flowers in the garden I heard a squabble kicking off in the kitchen, I could hear Barney shouting ’Leave me alone you bully, no - no don’t do that - you’re hurting me.’ His little voice was becoming quite frantic. I rushed to the kitchen, wondering who was hurting him with a quick mental roll call rushing though my head. Nala  ignores him. Jessie and Barney are play mates so she wouldn’t hurt him. Rebel would never bully anyone and Goalie was his best buddy, so that only left the infamous Dudu. Dudu, yes it had to be Dudu, I confirmed in my mind as I slid around the dining table heading rapidly for the kitchen amid screams of terror. ’Dudu stop it right now’, I shouted as I narrowly missed crashing into the fridge and slid into the kitchen. There was 10kg Dudu sitting on Barney, holding him down with one paw raised, daring Barney to move or try to escape. ‘Get off him right now and apologise.’ I demanded in my best ’Super Nanny’ voice as I scooped Barney up to comfort him. ’What on earth did you think you were doing?’ I demanded. Caught in the act yet still totally un-remorseful Dudu casually headed through the open door for the vegetable garden and in a very cavalier fashion commented ’He is part Chihuahua and you said sitting on him would probably work, so I was trying it out’. With that Dudu slowly sauntered away out through the vegetable garden, his black fluffy tail held high and straight. ‘I’ll get you for that’. shouted Barney now feeling much braver with me there to protect him. ’That’s enough, no you won’t’, I reprimanded. Still slightly surprised at what I had just witnessed I glanced again out toward the veggie patch. Was that a rude gesture I saw in the form of a slight twitch of Dudu’s very erect tail? 　

Welcome to our home - where animals speak and live in harmony (well most of the time)

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to live in a household where all the animals speak? Well join me and my family and read our regular blog. Some of it will be from my perspective and some from their perspective. But I will do all the typing because as a friend once pointed out, it’s pretty difficult typing with all those claws.

So let me introduce you to my family:

Clive, my husband is probably the most laid-back person I have ever met. He is a natural linguist and very annoyingly learns a language as easily as most of us mere mortals learn to fall off logs.

Rebel our 8 year old GSD is the most enormous GSD you have ever seen. He and I have been together since his birth as I delivered him. He is a sweet heart, laid back and really doesn’t want to get involved in sibling rivalry. Rebel will only ever be seen with a ball in his mouth, ever hopeful that someone is up for a game. A wise old sage who comes out with some real soul searching comments at times.

Barney Rubble. Well you will certainly hear a lot from him. Our Maltese Poodle /Chihuahua, is funny, cheeky and although smaller than every other cat or dog in our home, thinks he is the boss.

Nala our almost Rottweiler is a rescue and as Cesar Milan can often be heard to say ’You don’t always get the dog you want but you always get the dog you need’. So I guess I needed to experience a determined, stubborn bitch, who never gives in but who can also be very sweet and loving. 

Jessie Well only God knows what her parentage is but the slightly older Brits out there will recognise her when I say she looks just like Basil Brush. Sadly when God was giving out grey matter, Jessie was in the queue for a big fluffy tail. Oh and incidentally Jessie and Nala are exactly like 2 teenage sisters, they are constantly bitching and sniping at each other.

Dudu No we didn’t name one of our cats after a bodily waste, it is Swahili for insect as that is what he looked like when he found us. He is part Persian and now weighs in at 10kgs. If any animal in our household is boss - it’s him. His whole life revolves around food and nothing else is of any consequence as far as he is concerned.

Goalie Is our early morning alarm clock as he sits on the bedroom window sill at 5am and yowls until you let him in so that he can get under the duvet. He and Barney play tag first thing in the morning - over the bed - through the bed - over the pillows - over your head - foot in the eye - claws in your bare feet. Yep nobody sleeps past 5am in our house.

Tamu Strictly speaking Tamu (Swahili for sweet) is no longer with us as she died last year but she has chosen to stay and she regularly appears when I am about to deal with a difficult case. I often see her sitting on our bed, smiling and purring and she frequently helps me with her gentle suggestions and hints. Tamu had a difficult life but we managed to sort out all her problems before she died and I know that when she returns to us again, her next life will be much easier.

Cessna our African Grey parrot that my husband proudly taught to cuss and swear in English, Swahili and Arabic. Apart from the colourful language she can also be heard calling out the names of all the animals we have had in the last 25 years and she remembers every single one.